two truths: i am a nerd, and han solo shot first.

Greedo didn’t shoot first.

If you believe it, you are not worthy in my eyes to ever watch an episode of Star Wars again.

Han Solo shot first. It’s a fact.

In the original Star Wars that was made in 1977 (known to regular, normal people as Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.. pfft) there is a scene where    

                               Han Solo                                                            (a smuggling pilot who joins the rebellion) meets a bounty hunter named

                                                                    Greedo  in the Mos Eisley cantina on Tatooine. Since Han owes

                                   Jabba the Hutt                                                                  (who is a damn good looking crime lord)

money, Greedo has come to collect the bounty on his head. So Greedo and Han sit down at a table, and Han says things along the lines of  “tell Jabba I have his money” “I’ll pay him double” and blah blah blah. What Greedo doesn’t know however is that under the table, Han’s readying his blaster, just like Greedo was.

So Greedo says “I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time” and Han, being the smart ass he is replies “I bet you have.”  And BAM. Greedo’s dead.

BUT. They muffed the scene up for the re-release in 1997.

                                        George Lucas  

                                                                       (the genius who created Star Wars)

decided that FOR THE KIDS’ SAKE, he wanted to change the scene to make Greedo shoot first, and Han shoot second so it looks like the only reason Greedo got killed was because Han was protecting himself. This is SO WRONG IN MY EYES! If a kid watching Star Wars can’t handle an alien, a blaster sound and some smoke, how do they handle not having nightmares about Darth Vader OR THE REST OF THE MOVIE WATCHING PEOPLE GET THEIR LIMBS CUT OFF.

                                              HAN SOLO SHOT FIRST AND I WANT A T-SHIRT.